Surviving the Holidays

Vacation is a wonderful thing. I am so glad that I have nearly another week!! At this point in my holidays, I’m not sleeping properly, eating way too much sugar and not walking nearly enough (or at all!). Moving forward, I will be starting a sugar-free sort of detox again. Normally I can have a little bit of sugar and be okay, but this is just over the top and I am seriously feeling it. I wish cookies didn’t taste so yummy! I put the chocolates away already. Next step is to put the cookies into the freezer (no, they do not get thrown away or given away – stop thinking that crazy talk!). After that it will be a massive intake of water daily and a reintroduction to light exercise. Wii Fit here I come!

I will starting Thursday, December 30, 2010. Why then? Why not January 1st when everyone else starts their New Years resolution?

1. Because I’m still around family and friends today and tomorrow.
2. I don’t buy into the New Year’s resolutions. Every single day is the time to start a new goal, new way of living, new start so it doesn’t matter when I start, as long as I start!
3. Waiting until January 1st puts me too close to back to work; having to deal with the sugar withdrawal and go back to work is no fun. It will be much better to get the sugar withdrawal over with. After awhile I’ll be able to have a little sugar – in moderation! 🙂

Here’s the plan laid out:

• Zero cookies, chocolates or sugar
• At least 8 cups of water/day
• No Diet Pepsi during the day
• Go to bed at a reasonable time (no later than 10:30 except maybe New Year’s Eve of course if I’m out)
• 30 minutes of Wii Fit/day while on holidays
• Rest as much as possible
• Rely on my friends and family for support

I realize the first couple days especially will be tough but as long as I’m disciplined I know it will be worth it. I anticipate massive movie watching, knitting and random calls to friends! Thank you in advance!

 

Almost there!

It’s Tuesday of a short work week. My company closes down over Christmas so I’ll be off starting Friday until January 4th. I enjoy my job and am enjoying a decent energy week but ALWAYS am happy about time off! I especially like it when everyone is off, so I don’t have a huge pile of surprises when I get back. 😉

Life is good. Christmas presents  to wrap? Done. Christmas cards mailed? Done.  My time off work is deliberately quiet. I will have a couple of days out-of-town, but I keep that short and sweet so I can spend most of my time at home – chilling out with my relaxation favorites of computer time, crafts and movies.

My current status with my CFS is moderate. I’m still struggling with eating properly and drinking enough water. Why is it even though I know it makes me feel better, it’s so hard to do? Why does sugar taste so yummy and so hard to resist when I know in the long run it will only make me tired in a few hours? I was able to take a scheduled Monday morning off where I got to sleep in, watch the Survivor season finale from Sunday night and drink Chai Latte in the comfort of my home. Because it’s the last week of working for the year, I’m opting to sleep in a little more and take the bus to work every day. It’s way more fun to vacation where I can do fun stuff instead of forced into my bed and/or chair at home.

 

Powering Through

When do you rest and when do you power through? Sometimes it is hard to know if a rest day/partial day is necessary or if I can get through the day anyway. I went to bed at a proper time, I slept pretty well but woke up exhausted and with virtually no brain power. I ignored it; got up anyway. I walked my usual pace to work (approximately 3.5 km) and listened to my music. When I arrived, I set myself up with leftover Starbucks latte from the fridge (I love my leftover lattes!) and a bit of sugar from yesterday’s bake sale. Intellectually I know that caffeine and sugar only provide temporary relief; however I like them anyway! I also made sure I drank plenty of water this morning. I got a pep talk from Joanne about little steps. My brain was a complete and utter fog. I felt like I was in a bubble above my head, watching this body go through the motions. I could not focus; could not decide what to do on the “to do” list for the day. I picked the easiest thing; took this one task, and one task only on. I completed it a short time later. Then I picked something else and focused only on that one thing. For someone like me, who routinely jumps from one thought and task to another and back and forth – it is so frustrating when I can only do one thing. I focused only on  the given task, in that given moment. Before I knew it, I’d finished a few things and my brain started to clear up. 🙂

Soon it became lunch time and my energy picked up even more. I drank more water, I stopped and focused, and I powered through. My evening will be quieter than my original plan since I have to get more rest tonight and take care of myself, but that is okay. I made it through a morning that I didn’t think I’d get through. I am ready for my afternoon; bottle of water at hand and brain power significantly improved. All is good again.

 

Little Things

Little things make a huge difference. I know it’s a cliché. However, with CFS and FM, it proves true. Last night I was limping around my apartment getting my things ready for work: lunch, clothes, bag prepped. The habit of getting my clothes ready the night before (another little thing) saves me the decision-making process in the morning and at least 10 additional sleep minutes (a little thing again!). Even with my limping around, still sore from the shoveling, I forgot to account for my extra pain in my clothes choice. Why would my clothes choice make any difference in my pain? Well, I planned to wear a dress and heels today. This is not a good plan when my entire body hurts; if there is ever a time for comfortable slacks and flat shoes, this would be it.

One of the advantages of CFS is my short-term memory or lack thereof. Absolutely at times, it poses serious disadvantages – forgetting how to get somewhere (coupled with my non-CFS related total lack of direction), having to write every little thing down, losing my train of thought in mid-sentence, etc.). Here is where the advantage for me is: sometimes I forget the disease and/or the current symptoms. Because my pain is usually under control, when I sit still or limit my movement, I forget that I have the pain. Until I stand up again. Last night, after I’d been sitting for about an hour with everything prepped for work, I stood up and my body reminded me of the pain I’m experiencing. I promptly changed my outfit from a dress to pants. No heels today thank you very much!

It’s the little things that differentiate the coping with this disease:

• Drinking enough water
• Resting
• Sleep – solid, restful sleep
• Practical expectations about physical strength
• Reality checks with what I can accomplish

My life is great; I have great family and friends. I have the support of wonderful people. I don’t put that in the little of little things. Why? Because that support is the BIGGEST thing. Without support, those little things wouldn’t add up to squat. Without support, without that major thing in my life, I wouldn’t count it as a life. I appreciate the people in my life. Thank you to all of you who love, listen and are there for me, no matter what I need!

“Only when you are safely sheltered… can you tell which way the wind is blowing. Only from the calm… can you see how to protect yourself from trouble.” The Book of Negroes, Lawrence Hill

 

A new week begins

This weekend was mostly restful AND productive – I do like it when I rest but still accomplish stuff. I did forget one important thing. For the past few months my exercise was limited to walking; no weight training or even yoga 😦 So, when it was warm enough to clear ice and snow from the road in front of my house (with borrowed tools from Joanne of course), an hour of heavy lifting (big chunks of ice from the road) wore me out!! I am extremely sore today and am promptly reminded that not only do I have Fibromyalgia too, but also am out of shape! 🙂

Here’s a brief explaination I found on Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fibromyalgia

There are a variety of thoughts/arguments about exercise with CFS and/or FM. I’ll write more about that as I find information (of course with my own point-of-view added!). What kind of blog would this be without my own experience and opinions?!

 

Energized Saturday

Whohoo! I slept good last night! Since it was Friday night, I went to bed a little later and slept right through and woke naturally at 6:30 a.m. Practicing resting even when feeling pretty good helps in the long run so I am pacing myself with my activities and chores. The morning I had breakfast, watched pre-recorded television and did a few odd things around my place like getting my Christmas decorations out. Then when I felt energetic enough I showered, dressed and headed for an hour of errands. When I got home I unpacked the groceries, made a snack and am resting again. I will do a couple of things around the house in a bit and then go see The Tourist with my best friend Joanne tonight. Movies are a huge part of my life and my absolute favorite pastime!

Tomorrow I will be baking for a bake sale at work and doing laundry; likely computer stuff too. These are things I can do over an extended period of the day without pushing myself. During the work day I have to be “on”; present in mind, body and spirit. The weekends and evenings need to be about rest and recovery to make the work week easier. All of this is a struggle sometimes but when I find the right balance and don’t overdo it, I have a great, full life and feel almost normal (almost) 😉

 

Time to relax

Another work week completed and the weekend is here! I started a new job 3 weeks ago – it’s a great job with lots of challenges and interesting things happening. The job is a positive change and my choice after spending 5 years with the same company. I am happy with change (I love change) but I won’t deny that it does cause some turbulence with my CFS. I work better hours, instead of 6:30 or 7:00 a.m. workday start, I get to come in for 8 a.m.! 🙂 The first week was just training and learning. Now into the 2nd and 3rd weeks, I’m doing, doing, doing… My task list is always good and long – the way I like it. The trick is to balance the whirling mind when I get home and relax.

Now here comes the fun part: trying to unwind enough to sleep at night. I come home pretty tired, usually not exhausted (which is great) but my mind is in overdrive with plans, ideas and strategies to make things better both at work and with my personal goals. I go to bed, read and fall asleep but then wake up an hour or two later. Insomnia has been a problem for years for me; which only is worse when I’m working through things. I have to use my coping techniques to relax!

This weekend – it’s time to relax; unwind, chill out and rest. I had a very good, productive first 3 weeks. I feel comfortable with the next week coming up and look forward to a relaxing weekend.

 

One more work day!

I started the blog tonight because I couldn’t wait just one more day until the weekend. Shockingly enough (ha ha) that waiting doesn’t jive with my over-achiever type A personality! Has anyone else noticed how many CFS sufferers fit those two criteria?!

Now I really must get se sleep so I can be productive at work tomorrow!

 

Hello world!

Welcome to my new blog, Life with CFS!

What is this about? Just what it sounds like – living with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I’ve had the disease (and for you non-believers, I’m here to tell you it is a real disease), since I was 15 years old. I had to quit high school, literally slept through most of my teenage years and have been through many ups and downs.

The first two years alone I slept 18-22 hours a day. Here’s the good news – I’ve been working full-time for the past 9 years. I even have the energy to have a social life, do mild exercise and sometimes volunteer. I’ve tried many things, different products, diets, everything under the sun. This is not a blog to promote a particular product (though I’ve got some that I use) but to share what has worked for me.

I live a full life. I”m happy. I enjoy good relationships with close family members and very good friends. This blog is to share my story and maybe give people in the throes of this debilitating disease some hope.